Title: How I saved the world through fantastic sex with Peter Petrelli
Characters: Marilyn S. Barker (that’s almost like my real name - scary), Peter Petrelli (my OTP BFF!), and anyone else we wanted to be with
Author: Game_byrd the Early Byrd
Word count: 591 before I added the title block
This is a story about my character, Marilyn S. Barker and how she saved everyone.
So, one day, I was standing on the subway and this guy walked past me. He was totally hot and uber-handsome with this neat scar across his face. And that’s when I got all my powers, because my power was empathic mimicry just like Peter’s, but this was Future!Peter who walked by, so I got all of HIS powers, which was basically all of them.
And that was fantastic. I decided I wanted to talk to this hot guy, so I just thought about where he was (because he’d walked past me and disappeared) and because I had Molly’s power, I knew. Except there were two of them - young Peter and this older future Peter. And I knew that I had to save the younger one from turning into the older one, so I went and found him.
He totally loved me. Right away. And he didn’t have his powers yet, but I showed him how to use them and he got all my powers, and it was fantastic. He loved me so much and we had sex right there! He was like “Oh, oh, oh, oh oh oh ohohohoho!” and I was like “Ah, ah, ah, ahahahahahaha!” and we came at exactly the same time and that was when I knew we were soulmates. We were also born on the same day, at exactly the same moment and there’s a lot of cool backstory about sharing a mental link that I should put in here, but that would take too long so just make it up yourself. We bonded and imprinted and our powers mixed and all that special stuff. (Do I actually need to describe that too? I don’t think so.)
I was doing everyone a favor by Peter falling in love with me. Because this way I saved Simone’s life, not that anyone really cares. She can shag that junkie until his thing falls off and I don’t. But by being with Peter, I saved Simone, and Caitlin, and whoever else Peter was ever with. I don’t know who Future!Peter might be with - probably Future!Sylar, so I was saving him too.
Oh, speaking of Sylar! Because I had all these powers, I went to my friend Jason who really, really loves ZQ and I gave him some powers, because one of my powers is giving people powers and I’m cool that way, and I gave him some powers and he seduced Sylar before Sylar had done much that was bad, so I saved all those people too. And Jason and Sylar now screw like mad and sometimes we have competitions to see which of us can get our man off first, but I always win.
Oh damn, my story’s not long enough. Oh! Peter and I would adopt Micah because he’s so cute. And Molly too, because she needs a good home. And Angela would tell us all her secrets because I’d use my power to make her do that, but she’d still like us. We’d have this huge wedding - Peter and I, not Angela and I (ew!) - and Adam Monroe would be Peter’s best man and I’d see him on the side because he’s so HOT and such a bad boy and Peter’s so sweet and emo and totally whipped that he wouldn’t mind, but after a while, we’d start doing threesomes and that would be all kinds of awesome and…
Oh look, almost 600 words, so I’m done.